Sometimes
by Shadow of a Forgotten Ghost
Summary: In which Gabriel dreams of the past that haunts him.
1. Dreams of the Past

**Gabriel dreams of the past, basically. Story is named after the Papa Roach that song that inspired it. I thought it might fit how he feels depending on the nature of his wife's disappearance. Unfortunately, the story doesn't really reflect the song all that well. But I think this still fits. I'll also post a note as a separate chapter after this story about peacocks in superstition because I found some interesting information.**

* * *

A field of green, but not as green as her eyes. Bright sunshine overhead, but not as bright as the shining gold of her hair and her overflowing joy as she chased an equally beautiful baby boy around. Their baby boy.

Gabriel's vision blurred and he swiped at his eyes, pulling his hands away in surprise when he felt tears against his skin. Elizabeth giggled as she swept up little Adrien, swinging him in the air. She swung in his direction and abruptly paused when she noticed him crying.

Gently, Elizabeth lowered Adrien back into the grass before approaching him slowly, carefully. "What's wrong?" she asked in concern. Her voice was soft, sweet. Why did it seem like he hasn't heard it in years? Just the sound of it melted his heart. And even though Gabriel Agreste had never been a very affectionate man, he reached for her hand desperately and clung on for dear life.

But even though he held on so tightly, her hand dissolved into smoke and disappeared. Again, just as she always does. Little Adrien soon followed, leaving Gabriel alone in a field of rapidly dying grass under a clouded sky.

The grass crumbled away to reveal gray asphalt. The clouds above rumbled angrily as heavy drops began to pour all around and Gabriel was suddenly standing, looking down in horror at the body lying in front of him. It was happening all over again. Even though Gabriel knew what was happening, had seen it many times before in many other nightmares, he couldn't look away, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't change the dream even if he was aware of it. Because this wasn't a dream. It was a memory.

The pained scream that tore its way out of his throat seemed to be drowned out by the thundering sound of the rain. He dropped to his knees and cradled her head in his lap, smoothing her blood-soaked hair away from her face. He called her name over and over again, but the green eyes that used to be so brilliant only stared dully back.

"If only I hadn't insisted on going after that gang," he muttered. "I thought I could handle it, but…" His voice cracked and he broke off. He had only himself to blame, he knew. It was his own ego that convinced him he was capable of taking on a whole gang by himself. Elizabeth had insisted on following him, despite the fact that her power was non-combative.

It was all his fault. He knew he only had himself to blame, but… As a light enveloped him, he immediately turned to the blue kwami that appeared. For once, the kwami was dead silent, floating in the air with a neutral expression. Somehow, it was the lack of emotion on the creature's face that sent Gabriel over the edge. "This is your fault!" Gabriel accused the little creature. "You knew this was going to happen! I know you can predict danger and death! But it's your pride that convinced me that nothing would happen!"

The little peacock creature gave no reaction to his outburst, other than giving a look of disappointment. "I tried to warn you," it told him.

Rage rushed over Gabriel and he actually lashed out at the kwami, something he'd never normally do. The kwami just phased through his hand, looking completely unruffled. Just disappointed. "You didn't listen." Another swipe. Another hit not connected.

Gabriel over-rotated and toppled awkwardly to the ground next to her body. He didn't get up. Just stayed there and let tears fall to the asphalt, indistinguishable from the rain.

The kwami's quiet voice barely reached his ears through the pouring drops around them. "If you want to see her again, there's a way. I'll only tell you this because I do feel slightly responsible. You need the Black Cat and Ladybug Miraculouses. With those, you will be able to see her again. But I won't help you get them."

With that, the blue kwami shot back into the peacock brooch. And Gabriel knew that the power of the peacock had been forever closed to him.

* * *

The sound an alarm marked the end of his dream. Once again, it had failed to interrupt the nightmare despite the fact that Gabriel had set it to go off early. He had been setting it earlier and earlier every night in hopes that it might wake him up and save him from experiencing that horrible moment all over again.

With tired eyes, he saw that it was three thirty. He turned off the alarm and sat up, knowing that there was going to be no more sleep to be had tonight. That was fine. There was plenty of work that needed doing. Maybe he should schedule more design competitions. Maybe if he wore himself out enough, he could finally get a night free from the never-ending nightmare.


	2. Peacock Mythology and Superstition

This may not be new information for some. In fact, I knew about many of the beliefs surrounding the peacock even before I looked them up. But there was something that caught my attention.

To summarize some of the more well-known beliefs, peacocks are seen as a symbol of pride. In real life, peacocks are not social creatures. They will attack other birds and animals around them. They are also seen as a symbol of death. It was believed that if a peacock cries ("more than usual or out of his time"), it will herald the death of its owner. In other words, it can sense when death is about to befall them.

But what caught my attention was this: they are also a sign of resurrection due to early Christian practices. I'm not entirely sure what this bodes for the series, but I thought it was interesting because I never knew that peacocks had any positive association. Anyway, I thought I would post this for anyone interested.

For further information, this is where I found it:

www. mimimatthews 2016/ 05/ 13/ the-peacock-in -myth-legend-and- 19th-century-history/


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